Okay, I'm a little delirious. I've been grading off and on for about 10 hours. STILL, there are two things making everything seem a little clearer: my "Feelin' Good" playlist, which includes Mumford & Sons, Kid Cudi, Matt + Kim, and Jackson Browne #judgemeicandeal, and Mike Schmoker's book Focus: Elevating the Essentials to Radically Improve Student Learning. Schmoker's book looks all serious and boring on the outside but is, thus far, a down-to-earth, quick read that addresses the anxieties most teachers are having about the nature of public education today. And, let me tell you, it is helping me to NOT have a panic attack in terms of all the things we're facing. According to Schmoker,we can do it, guys, we just need to simplify... which I think is what Thoreau stressed a long time ago... but, then, he wasn't a public educator, was he? He was a dude who lived by himself, in the middle of nowhere, a dude who was NOT surrounded by constant chaos and mandates, so let's give ourselves a break for JUST now figuring it out.

I think the craziest thing about Schmoker's book, thus far, is that the suggestions he is positing for public education sound a WHOLE FLIPPIN' LOT like what we did when I was a student at a CLASSICAL school. *Gasp!* What?! Classical models are now moving to public school? We're just gonna read and read and write and write in a beautiful, simple way, and children will learn in the normal, not-so-new-fangled way? Maybe. According to Schmoker, we need to avoid all the glitz and glam that comes with new program and that new initiative. Can we keep our focus long enough, pedagogues? I might be too young to have this much cynicism towards the people who make decisions, but srrsly, these are the same individuals who have passed every other plan.

Now, if this were something that I could accomplish by myself, I'd just go rogue, read a bunch of books, and come up with my own plans. According to Schmoker, there is one teacher who made significant gains in his classroom following that model, but aren't we SO much stronger together than alone? So, we need to have each other's backs, to support one another--'cause heaven knows, this scatterbrained girl is NOT infinitely creative to the degree that she can come up with common this and common that all by herself. I'm re-thinking so many things about my approach to the classroom, and, if Schmoker's right, I might just be able to do what  love, which is just straight-up teachin', and be REALLY effective at my job---sayyyy waaaaaaat?! You heard me. That's what he has said in the first two-point-five chapters.

 

These claims sound really good. Too good. Look at me; I'm such a little cynic. So, I'm off to finish another set of tests and then read another chapter. I'll keep you updated.

You know those unexpected moments of clarity, the ones that frequently occur when you're trying to do something else? I had one today. While trying to grade/plan, I wondered how I became a teacher. What got me into this whirlwind of a profession? If you're a teacher, you know what I'm talking about, and I KNOW this sentiment is not a new one, especially in the teacher-blogger world. On a typical day, I will make hundreds of copies (I did not want to be an office assistant.), email parents about how frequently their child gets up and wanders around a room like a cow roaming for food (I did not wish to be a micromanaging control freak.), run papers back and forth, all over the school (I do not get a cool bicycle like a professional messenger), and attend at least two meetings that determine whether or not there is a policy issue with a particular disciplinary action (...and I gave up my dream of becoming a Supreme Court Justice a long time ago.).

So... what is it? What is the draw? My mother has asked me many times. Well, in the last couple of days, I have received messages from two former students, both of whom were less-than-enthusiastic about reading, or exhibiting any academic effort, to be frank.

Message 1: "So, I am beyond late on the whole Teacher Appreciation Day... I just had to let you know, though, you were one of the absolute best teachers I've ever had. I hated English with a passion, but you changed me. In more ways than one. You gave me a wake up call. I love reading now! You really pushed me, and I owe you a huge thanks. So thank you, very much."

Message 2: "I got a 100 on my senior presentation!!!! I'm the only one to get a 100 (not tryin' to toot my own horn)..."

For now, that'll be enough. Hopefully some of the precious lambs who are currently causing me to beat my head against a figurative wall ('cause, hey, that junk'll kill some brain cells--no bueno--teachers need 'em all!) will send me similar messages.

Until then, I'm living on coffee and prayers.

FYI: There are nine days of instruction left!